teenage dream

I love this song. It goes on in the car when I need a bit of a pep talk in the mornings. I drive a slightly longer distance to a couple of peripheral clinics a couple of days a week and sometimes the best part is driving in the car music turned up and forgetting all about work/clinics/life. Sometimes a bit of space is good. I have a mental playlist of my own feel good songs. Sometimes I think I haven't enjoyed chunks of time at school, at uni, my year out blah, blah, concerned about what people think, passing exams, my weight, my face blah blah. I always think it'll get better, I'll try harder but sometimes I forget to just live. Do my best and be done. But even with Katy Perry it's difficult. And now I need to decide should I go to a ball? I've got this fear of balls, from school I think and yet almost 10 years later it's stuck with me. I guess I should tell myself to get over it. It's definitely about time.

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Listening to: Katy Perry - Teenage Dream
via FoxyTunes

catch up

I seem to permanently play catch up with one thing or another. I hoovered, tidied, cleared and filled out paperwork today. Oh the joys. Now it seems it would have been much easier to stay put instead of moving to the other end of the country. Monday looks like it'll be a day of phone calls and sorting. But for now I have time to myself, all to myself. Quite a luxury. So much so, I went and bought a Wii. Only to discover when I reached home and started piecing it together the bloody thing doesn't seem to connect to the TV, or should I say it connects but doesn't work. No idea why. Cue a second trip to the shops and another adaptor later and low and behold it still doesn't work. Pants, I'm stuck. Yet again I feel I need a man. I just about managed to stop myself from asking the checkout guy to come home and fix it. He might have just taken it the wrong way eh. Anyway, I'm off to have another go and hope that it doesn't end up with me throwing the whole thing out the window. Relaxation anyone?

darkness

I'm starting nights again. It's a wee bit daunting in psychiatry. There's the main hospital, then several outlying wards so I tend to hop in the car if I'm called down to them at night. Of course the radio comes on and I'm privy to the weird and wonderful night time anthems on the waves. But there's something almost soothing about those beats, well thuds, when the night is at it's darkest. Somehow it's like I'm in limbo waiting for the morning sun. At that time, the problems of the day seem small, a million miles away. And you know sometimes I quite like it.

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Listening to: Chase & Status & Delilah - Time
via FoxyTunes

moments and usefulness

So after thinking about wishing away time I sat in clinic today and tried hard not to wish it was over. You know doing as I say and all that. The first two patients didn't show up and I was left twiddling my thunbs. Sun shining outside and here I was stuck inside. Bah. So I sucked it up and got out a book, all be it "on death and dying" (Elizabeth Kubler Ross) but a fascinating read. It should be on some sort of reading list at university. Such an important part of work but overlooked in so many ways.
Then I listened to some cheesy pop on the way home. Sometimes we all need an escape.
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Listening to: Alexis Jordan - Happiness
via FoxyTunes