Monday, 30 March 2009

springing forwards

and it's the start of my favourite part of the year and the nights are stretching with the clocks having jumped forward into spring. it's 8pm and it's just dusky with the birds chirping. bring on the warmth and the summer sun!

Thursday, 26 March 2009

After the nasty start to yesterday, I dragged myself to the gym in the evening before babysitting and felt a hundred times better. There's a lesson for me. It's amazing what a good run can do for the soul.

I also spoke to my flatmate who is away in Tanzania at the moment and heard lots about how she's settling in which was great.

Then it's off up north tomorrow to visit an old friend.

And would you believe that's 2 weeks worth of holiday gone....just like that....

And all this time I've been thinking lots about someone, someone who I thought lots about when I was on placement on my elective, someone who would stir up those butterflies in my stomach when he popped into the paeds ward, someone who made me lost for words when he said hi, someone who had a cracking smile which made me melt when I saw him walking towards me, someone who I never wanted to say bye too, someone who I've been praying for.....sometimes, I don't know how it could work between us, a pretty whacking great continent in the way, but sometimes he seems so perfect I wish so hard that it will, somehow, work in the end......god willing.

Oh and lastly, I found this sweet site, for a bit of thoughtfulness...

Now for some work......

Listening to: Goldfrapp - A&E (Single Version)
via FoxyTunes

Wednesday, 25 March 2009

getting back on track

I had a really good few days, out running, eating well, revising at least a little each day then a bit of a crash this morning. need to pick myself up and run...literally.

Thursday, 19 March 2009

not so much to post about these days. babysat last night. trying to study work as usual. nothing exciting and still dreaming.
Listening to: Gabriella Cilmi - Sweet About Me
via FoxyTunes

Tuesday, 17 March 2009

I woke up a bit too early this morning but not in vain. As I looked out the window to find this....the beginnings of the sunrise.....teaching me to appreciate what's on my doorstep. Needless to say I went back to sleep. I'm on holiday, come on!

Listening to: R.E.M. - Nightswimming
via FoxyTunes

Monday, 16 March 2009

a good chatter solves a multitude of things

Over the past couple of days I've spent most of the time myself and I guess wound myself into a bit of a downward spiral about things. And as some nasty thoughts went through my head tonight my phone rang and it was a good friend calling for one of our good catch up's. And low and behold an hour or so later I felt much better! Every month or so I guess we have a good natter and there's a lot to be thankful for there. I'm not a great socialite but I have some great close friends who, altthough live in various places up and down the country, still keep in touch and there's nothing a like a good old catch up. Now I just need to keep my head above water, otherwise I can't keep on like this, not when it's so close to the finish line. Sometimes, I think running a marathon would be easier than this.

Sunday, 15 March 2009

Friday the 13th was Red Nose Day (Comic Relief). It brings back memories of dressing up as the flinstones, wearing pyjamas and baking red cupcakes at school to raise money and of course we would get home from school and if I was round at a friend's house we would beg to stay up late to watch the live tv show. The idea is to raise money for projects here and in Africa through fun and games so throughout the tv show they have short videos where celebrities go and investigate an aspect of health, education or sport which the money raised would be helping. Aged 7 these clips made a huge frog jump in my throat and shed a few tears and I wished so hard I could do something to help. This year, they focused on lives lost to malaria in Uganda and being not a million miles from Malawi, the images were all to familar, a convulsing child, a comatose one, a delirious one...the quinine lines running, the blood transfusions, the tiny cannulae. So now I had seen it first hand, I guess my childhood dreams had kinda come true. But I wish it was as simple as my childhood determination. The more I see Malawi the more complicated things become. The more it seems problems lie at a much higher politial level. Is that apathetic of me? Just reality I guess. But it still doesn't stop me from yearning to pass my finals and practice medicine in Malawi. What do the French call it again...? Something like, la maladie afrique......

Listening to: Kings of Leon - Use Somebody
via FoxyTunes

Friday, 13 March 2009

Medicine block exam yesterday so a shock to the system. Need to learn more drugs-interactions, side effects, contraindications etc.....doesn't make for an exciting next few weeks til finals. but as someone kindly, pointed out it's only another 2 moths away so a bit of hard graft is definitely in order. Just wiaitng for a lecture on, funnily enough, pharmacology then it's the weekend and the start of a 2 week break before the next block! Now I'm off to hunt down some good old grey's anatomy dvds...thta's neuro revision...right?

Monday, 9 March 2009

So I'm in the hospital where normally anything fun on the internet is blocked but every so often something seems to happen and voila you can hack into facebook, blogger, holiday sites etc etc. Oh, boy does it feel good. I feel like I'm 14 again in It core skill class looking up ryan air flights dreaming of getaways. yes, i hear you say, she needs to get a life. Being stuck in a wee district general hospital for 7 and a bit weeks makes you appreciate the small mercies. (it also means you get a heck of alot more work done). so on that note i should go study. (and maybe just maybe google some cheap flights...i mean whats the harm.) I am so very much looking forward to finishing....

Sunday, 8 March 2009

And so it doesn't seem to lie much though. This is the view from the kitchen and my bedroom out towards Arthur's Seat a hill, I'm ashamed to say I've only been up two or three times in 5 years. Anyway it's pretty!

Listening to: Enrique Iglesias - Do You Know? (The Ping Pong Song)
via FoxyTunes

Saturday, 7 March 2009


5 years ago I'd never heard of this word before. It wasn't till I started university and landed in a flat with an english literature student that the world of procratination, olives (courtesy of greek flatmate) and mulitple boyfriends (courtesy of the nocturnal glaswegian business studies student). Four and a half years on I appear to have perfected the art of procrastination, developed a taste for olives but never mulitple boyfriends (one is apparently too hard.)

So my top three procrastination activities after many years of experience appear to be:
(1) The internet: email, blogs, facebook......
(2) Cleaning (am thinking minor ocd perhaps)
(3) staring into space...

you'd think I'd have gotten more imaginative by this point....

and maybe, just maybe, being a medic n all that I would have learned to incorporate exercise into procrastination alas I have not. So now it is lent, I'm thinking that might be my "resolution", not so much giving something up but adding something good into my life. Hmm so we'll see. Can old dog's learn new tricks??

Listening to: Gwen Stefani - Hollaback Girl
via FoxyTunes

loosing it (yes, well actually lost it)

I've lost my stethescope, of all blinking things.....bloody hell. It appears my brain is not in gear much more than I think. My eptic 24 hours with 2 hours sleep on tues/wed was obviously not conducive to my propensity to loose things ( inlcuding my own head-lucky it's just hanging on in there.)

Listening to: Arctic Monkeys - I Bet You Look Good On the Dancefloor
via FoxyTunes

and the show goes on

Saturdays are rapidly becoming the same...get up work, have lunch, watch scrubs, work.....puddle. Sometimes I think Scrubs just nails things right on the head. Not real but hey, they get those emotions bang on (at least from what I've gathered so far in this medicine lark). Anyway, back to real life medicine....doh.

Listening to: The Fray - How to Save a Life
via FoxyTunes

Friday, 6 March 2009

just try

So up and down that's how it goes. Sometimes I feel like I've hit rock bottom then I find I'm still drowning somwhere deeper down than I thought possible. This week I've amazed myself twice over: one, that I stayed up for a whole night shift then most of the day afterwards to make the most of teaching; two, that I felt more rubbish than ever. And I don't know why but I do know that I need to pull myself together.

I know where I'll be working (well, assuming finals are passed) and I feel happy with the job. But sometimes it seems like there's an impossibly high mountain to climb.....

Ok, so, regroup, plan and get down to work. Another 10 weeks and finals will be beginning...nothing like that to make your stomach churn.

I'll try.....

Listening to: Nelly Furtado - Try
via FoxyTunes